Living with Lupus Pt 1.
Live a Life Worth Living. Photo taken by me during an IV infusion.
Part 1
When seeing new patients for the first time, I like to get to the ROOT of the problem. I feel like I CANNOT tackle treating a patient’s gum disease effectively without knowing what got them into my chair in the first place. The etiology, diagnosis, and treatment plan are all pieces of the puzzle that my brain is trying to put together. I want the edges to of the puzzle to fit as seamlessly as possible, in hopes that the treatment outcome is more predictable. When dealing with my own health struggles, I had to turn that same philosophy around and do some DEEP internal reflecting.
I’m not sharing my story not for sympathy points, but just the opposite. I wanted other people going through a health crisis (or any crisis) to know that they are not alone. If I could reach just one person, that maybe needs to slow down a little, and take some time for themselves… then sharing my health struggles is worth it!
Happy Scaling!
It was my last year in residency, & the stress I had been dealing with was building.
I had become the master of saying yes and spreading myself thin. I was chief resident, volunteering in whatever important and non-important committee/ambassador program you could think of (not the instagram kind). I Applied to every award/scholarship that I ran across, and was addicted to building a fat resume. I wanted to check all the boxes, and cross off all responsibilities. I was the ultimate gunner, and had become great at it. 2017 was particularly stressful, because I had important deadlines to meet for my thesis defense. I was spread as thin as clarified ghee butter melting on top of organic avocado toast.
Daily migraines, muscle spasms, hormone deficiencies, and fatigue mixed together in a storm that was already piping hot with what is considered ‘normal’ residency stress. I was shoving back down all that stress, without an outlet to re-center myself. My hair was breaking off, my face was ridden with red eczema patches, and if you even LOOKED at me wrong… my skin would bruise.
Naturally, when I started feeling extra tired, my legs were always tingling, and my vision would get blurry… the number one suspect on my differential, was stress. It’s JUST stress I thought… I had so much on my plate.
But the symptoms only started to multiply, and get worse.
The white flag of defeat was waving frantically in front of my face, trying to tell me to STOP because something was seriously wrong. Naturally, I was always tired… but these new episodes of extreme weakness would last days. During these episodes, I had difficulty doing small tasks like showering, getting out of bed, or even holding my phone up. All of my insides were aching, and I was in legitimate pain. Something was off.
If you’re anything like me, we all love a good comeback. Mine was not easy, and it’s still a work in progress. Part 2 will launch TOMORROW, and talk about my road to a diagnosis and better health!
- Witten by Yvette Carrillo